Listening

One of my daughters has a huge crush on a boy we know from church. Huge. Talks about him constantly and, to be fair, they do seem to be good friends who enjoy each other's company. She has their lives planned out and is just waiting to be old enough to get married. It's adorable and while we don't encourage it too much, she does say some pretty profound things about why she likes him and wants to spend time with him. 

Problem is, she talks about him all the time. All. The. Time. Understandably, we get tired of it and want to hear her talk about something else from time to time. The other day we were in the car and the talk about the boy started. In my frustration I told her I needed a break from hearing about the boy. That I wanted her to talk about anything else and to stop telling me about him. 

She complied and remained silent. 

Immediately I regretted what I told her. Yes, it's more than likely a little crush. Yes, it will probably fade away and make room for someone else before long. Yes, it is tiring to hear her talk more about this boy than most any topic. 

But there will come a time when I am desperate for all three of my kids to tell me about their crush. When I beg to hear them tell me the name of the person who has caught their eye. When I want to know why they are attracted to them and how they want to spend time with them. When they hesitate to tell me anything about who they like and why. Why was I setting a precedence today that I didn't want to hear something that was so exciting and meaningful for them. What else was I going to do as we drove? And worse, was I teaching them to remain quiet about this stuff because it may bother mommy?

I apologized to my sweet girl and told her I was so happy for her that this boy meant so much to her. I told her that I would love to hear more about him and asked if she could tell me what she was saying again. Her face lit up in the rear view mirror and I knew it was worth hearing about him again. 

I hope I remember this lesson in the years to come. Most of all, I hope they remember the time mommy apologized and reaffirmed how much she wanted to hear about something important to them. It's important now, and will be more important then.