Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The Good

Today I was watching the season finale of Teen Mom 2. I know, I know. Trash t.v.? I hear it from Matt all the time. I could totally justify it saying that I only watch it while eating my lunch or while feeding Johnny or while pumping (and sometimes while doing two out of three of those activities), but even in the absence of those sitting times, I still watch it. I like the drama in other people's lives. I love rolling my eyes at these teenagers and wondering how much of this is trumped up from editing and how much of it is legitimately that sad.

While there is a lot to be shameful of on this hello...Janelle? Amber? Occasionally little pearls of wisdom can be gleaned from this reality train wreck in process. One of the teen moms, Leah, has twin daughters, one of whom has special needs. While Leah has a whole bag of issues that need to be sorted out and is by no means a saint, I do think she has been incredibly brave by being willing to go through the process of finding out her daughter's diagnosis and dealing with her delays on public television. Yes, I realize that she could be using some of it to increase her fandom and thereby stretch out her 15 minutes a little bit longer, but somehow, in this regards, I think that isn't the case. They have really put a lot of their lives "out there" for the world to see and exposed themselves to some pretty serious criticism in trying to figure out how to best meet this sweet girl's needs. Today, as they reached the end of a long road of medical testing (which was, of course, left out of the episode meaning I will HAVE to watch the update with Dr. Drew next week), they were recapping their fears and excitement at speaking with the doctor. One of the members of the family made sure to point out all of the things this baby girl CAN do and as he lovingly hugged her, he exclaimed, "The good far outweighs the bad."

The tears began to flow. I know this. I know this a thousand times over. I have read it. I have heard it. I have come to the realization myself. But it is one thing I never, ever get tired of being reminded. I hope I never, ever will. There is so much good that comes with Johnny, just Johnny, that it crushes the bad into submission. The good shines through in so much that he does and how he makes us feel that we rarely see the bad. When we learned about his potential diagnosis, almost a year ago, all I felt was bad, bad, bad. Now, holding him, loving him, being loved by him, all I see is good. I am not trying to white wash the fact that there will be struggles and difficult times, but I store up every moment of goodness to help mellow out the "bad times" to come. I don't fear the struggles and the bad like I once did, in fact, I think he strengthens me to be ready to face them all with resolve because I know, both in my head and in my heart, that he is amazing and worth it. I think about all the things he CAN do already and I am excited to be a part of helping discover what he will do and who he will be and I cannot help but think, "This is good, absolute good."

"The Good"

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