When the time came to meet Johnny, Matt and I said that even though our diagnosis was "in the room" with us, it wasn't a focus of his delivery or the time after his birth. We knew what to expect, we knew that we would face some extra testing, but overall we could completely enjoy his birth rather than trying to enjoy his birth then getting slammed with some pretty tremendous grief. And I definitely think there would have been grief in those moments. It wouldn't have changed how much I loved him just like the prenatal diagnosis doesn't change anything, but it is hard take all of the new knowledge in. It was almost like with his delivery relief came. People talk about birth as being such a physical manifestation of a spiritual thing and I totally agreed with that before, but I had never experienced it in such a manner before Johnny's delivery. While the worries and the concerns were (and are) still there, we were able to usher in all of the typical wonderment and awe that a newborn brings with it. My heart just hurts for Mommies who don't know beforehand and are having to deal with hormones and unexpected sadness that is hormone driven, who are completely exhausted, are trying to learn about their baby, and are grappling with all of the new labels and information being thrown at them as well when getting a diagnosis at birth.
So several people, our Genetic counselor included, ask if we are glad we knew beforehand. The answer is a most enthusiastic yes, we are glad we knew beforehand. That being said, we are thankful for more and more testing that is taking place to get Mommies this information ahead of time. If/When we have a fourth, we will probably skip the screening and go directly for a new diagnostic blood test that is out which can detect T13, T18, T21 and Gender related chromosomal abnormalities with a simple blood draw. Now there are some issues I have with these tests being used in certain ways, but that is another post for another day. So even though we know the outcome can be and is wonderful even with T21 confirmation, we would still want to know ahead of time.