It's better now. Some doors have opened on their own. Some of them are simple doors, milestone doors, some of them easy to open, others a bit heavier. Doors like rolling over, sitting up, babbling, taking in solids, scooting in a circle, all these doors are now swung wide open in "Johnny's Hallway". We have had to help him open some of these doors, but others, like scooting around, he pretty much knew how to do instinctively as soon as he rolled over onto his tummy. We see other doors creaking open as well. The crawling door, imitating sounds door, and pulling up with support door have at least unlocked and are making their way to being accessible to him.
Now I wonder how many of those doors will be available for us to open over the years? How many of those doors will we have to fight to open? How many of those doors will need assistance in opening? How many of those doors will swing wide open without any resistance at all? How many doors will Johnny need us to help push and how many will he be successful in opening on his own? There are sadder thoughts that linger, wondering about how many times we should let him knock on a door that probably won't open for him, before we show him another door that is better suited for him? How many times will we have to comfort him when a door is shut in his face?
Ultimately, it is good that we have realized that his life will be more than a little boy sitting alone in a hallway with no chance of moving out. I don't know which door will be this week, or next week, or next month, or a year from now, but I do know that there are plenty to try. As dismal and lonely as this hallway felt a year ago, it feels like a pretty good place to be right now. I am sure the sting of rejection will hurt us at some point, but the welcome mats will surely outweigh those. In the mean time we will focus on the doors I know can be opened soon.