Mommy Fails

I have seen a lot online recently about "Mommy Fail". Often used as a hashtag for instagram, twitter, or facebook, Mommies will post their hard moments of the day and follow it up with a comment insinuating that they aren't doing a good job being a Mom. Examples that I have seen-

I let my kids eat popcorn and nothing else for lunch...

Yelled at my kids for something that was not their fault...

Yelled at my kids for something that was totally their fault...

Let my two year old try to use the potty at the store, had no diaper to change them into, put the wet diaper back on...

Replayed an episode of Little Einsteins just to get us to bedtime...

Woke up an hour before kid's doctor appointment, baby cried the whole way there, spit up breakfast once he got to eat...

Tried to convince my three year old to use the potty in public by herself, she got stuck in the guys restroom, and smashed her fingers in the door...

Bribed my kids with candy...

Took a nap with the baby and let the laundry pile up...

Waited too long to change a dirty diaper and ended up with poop all over clothes...

Skipped bath tonight because we were all out too late...

Literally gave up cleaning for two days because every time they turned around, something new was destroyed or messed up...

None of these moments is completely unheard of being labelled as a "Mommy Fail" on the internet. I chose these particular items because they are things that have taken place in our house over the past five days. This is the thing though, all of these moments are completely normal. Absolutely and completely normal. These are not "Mommy Fails", they are "Life with a toddler". And it seems like "Mommy Fail" has become the new "slut" or "hoochie" of this stage in life. In middle and high school, girl friends would often use these terms in an "endearing" way with one another. Not Moms are choosing to label themselves as failing in a cutesy and in need of validation way.

You know what is a "Mommy Fail"? Moms who choose not to clothe their children and use the money on themselves. Moms who choose not to buy food for their kids and let them go hungry (I'm not talking about people who are trying and can't afford it, I'm talking about the small percentage of Moms who make the conscious decision not to). Moms who beat their children, put out cigarettes on their children, lock their children in their rooms so they don't have to deal with them, who kick toddlers out of their house, who get high with their children around,  and who leave deadly weapons accessible to their children. There are Moms who listen to their kids scream while they reach for their 20th beer of the night. There are moms who insult their children, kill their self esteem, and tell them that they are a waste and unworthy of life. There are moms who kill their children.

These Moms deserve the title of "Mommy Fail". But most Moms, most are just doing the best job they can every day. They are Moms who are desperately trying to stay ahead of the game because the main players, the kids, keep changing the rules as soon as they are figured out. Once Mommy figures out a sleep pattern, eating preferences, and general disposition, a growth spurt hits and it's time to re-figure out this kid all over again. And that is what being a Mommy is all about. It is about physical and emotional growth spurts for your kids, but also for yourself...and probably a few spiritual growths too. I refuse to let any Mommy who is worrying about whether or not she is making the best choices for her kids, who is working hard every day to try and do right by her kids, to label themselves as "Mommy Fail". 

We all have really hard moments. We all have really hard hours. We all have really hard days. Sometimes that list continues on. Moms (and Dads) need to remember that as long as they aren't doing anything in the paragraph above about real failures, that they are doing good. They are doing a job well and they are doing work that is good. Stop and tell yourself "I am doing a darn good job" because more than likely that is an understatement. 

I am doing a really big, darn good, awesome, and amazing job...