Thursday, January 17, 2013

Raptor prayers- part 3

Prayers for Matt and I to enjoy the delivery experience, that we have clarity to take everything in, and that our joy is a witness to all who encounter us.

This was a funny prayer seeing as we had a lot of time to prepare for it since I was in the hospital since the day prior. We pretty much knew we wouldn't be able to leave without having Johnny and Dr. Norton was pretty booked up the morning of the 31st with surgeries so we really had time to relax and settle into the fact that we were about to have our third child. Everything was pretty clear until the last 15 minutes or least for me. I think it is so odd that your mind really blanks entire chunks of time out. I feel like my eyes were closed for most of that time, but if I focus really hard, I can sometimes catch small snippets of what happened in my mind. I drive Matt crazy asking him about all sorts of details of the delivery, but it's because I remember some things and can't remember parts that surround it. I suppose that is part of the whole "your mind making you forget so you have more". 

I think we were a good example to others, that people got to feel our joy. We never shied away from telling the nurses about our diagnosis and smiled and laughed almost the whole time. 

 As you can see in the picture above, I did bawled...during delivery. With things happening so fast and finally having Johnny here, I had no other choice than this absolute release of emotions. I could not stop crying, except long enough to ask how he was. I made sure to reassure everyone that it was a happy cry though.

I was pleasantly happy with the nursing staff in the hospital mimicking our joy and happiness. I wasn't sure if they were sincere or if they were being good about making an extra fuss over Johnny to make us feel better, but we had a lot of extra positive attention from the staff. The nurses oohed and awed over Johnny, asked for extra time to hold him and love on him, and laughed with us over his cute little expressions and mannerisms. If they were trying to help us feel extra joy over his birth then it worked and we hope that happiness radiated throughout the room as people came to visit.

As we work through showing people that we truly are happy, I have to watch myself that my pride doesn't take over too much. Sometimes I almost feel defiant as I tell people that my son has Down syndrome, like I am challenging them. I need to let my guard down because overall our experience with others has been positive and will only be more so when people see how blessed we feel.

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