Rant

Ladies and Gentlemen,

If you don't want to read my rant and rave, please don't read further. If you like when I get riled up, please read on. My soapbox was definitely out for this one...

Dear Sackers (and most Checkers) at the Grocery store,

I am beginning to despise you as a cross section of the population. Yes, there are some redeeming people amongst you, but they are few and far between. It matters not where you work, Kroger and HEB both have the distinction of hiring the most incompetent people to bag my groceries. After many years of doing u-scan, I know, for a fact, the job is not difficult. So why does every trip to the store make my blood boil?!?!?

First, if you ask me how I am doing and I (or, more frequently, my husband) asks you how you are doing in turn, a simple fine is a suitable and professional answer. Good, great, doing well, are also acceptable answers. Do not use the open door to release your misery at having to be at work on me. I don't care that you have been at work for an hour and now you are tired. I don't care that you have been at work for four hours and Cindy on lane 4 got to go on break before you. I don't care that you are annoyed with your manager and I don't want to hear any negativity from someone who should have been trained to simply smile and do their job! It really bothers me that you complain about your job when there are people that pass through your line each day unsure of where they are going to cover next weeks groceries because they can't have your job because you are (inadequately) filling it.

Second, many, many people have reusable bags these days. Many companies have also made insulated bags. Insulated bags are usually to help keep cold stuff, cold and hot stuff, hot. In the absence of hot stuff, use the bags for cold stuff. All of it. And no, produce does not trump cheese, yogurt, eggs, frozen goods, or milk as cold products. If there is no room for produce in the insulated bags, it will be ok.

Also, in the event that I forget my reusable bags, I will, of course, settle for plastic or paper. This does not give you the liberty to put one or two items in a plastic bag and hand it to me. A container of strawberries will be just fine with other produce or smaller items. Lettuce and a lemon may look heavier than a single bag can manage, but trust me, you can probably throw in the cucumber, tomatoes, and heck, you might even be able to fit the apples in their too. The only items that should be in a plastic bag by themselves is raw meat and even when I am using reusable bags, it is nice to go ahead and use plastic for those. And never, ever, ever double my plastic bag and I will probably yell at you if you even think about tying my plastic bags into a double knot.

Third, I have a ten month old daughter. You frequently refer to her as a little boy even when she is wearing pink or a dress. This upsets me, but only mildly so. The part I am frustrated about is when you see her burp cloth in the above mentioned reusable bags. I bring it in the event of a spit up emergency. I figured it would be better than having her spit up or puke all over your store where people buy groceries. You don't need to comment about it or handle it, just leave it in the bag. It is very evident that it is a burp cloth...yes I knew it was in there, no don't take it out, no I would rather you did not touch it.

Fourth, GET OFF YOUR CELL PHONE. You are at work, you need to address my needs before you finish texting Mary Lou about your plans this weekend. You don't need to check the time because it has only been one minute since you checked it last time. You would not believe how many times I have had to wait for checkers, baggers, and stockers to get off the phone at work. I think it should be grounds for writing up and dismissal. Imagine if you were at church asking your pastor for help and you looked down to see him texting LOL to someone on his phone. Or if you doctor was in the middle of giving you stitches and looked at the time on his phone every other minute. While I am on things I don't like to see you doing, let's go over this (although I shouldn't have to) no touching your hair (you are touching my food), no eating, no drinking, and absolutely no coughing into your hand or picking your nose. Disgusting...

Lastly, checkers, I will help you out if you aren't sure what fresh ginger or a shallot looks like, but if an item is on advertised special, know what it is...the poor girl didn't know what a plum was today and they have been on sale at HEB for the past three weeks.

Maybe I have the worst luck in the world, but I rather enjoy grocery shopping and wish I could enjoy every aspect of my experience (unlike what I am doing now).