Sunday, February 8, 2015

Dreaming

Before I had kids, I thought I would dream about them all the time. I thought they would hold such a place in my heart that even in sleep I would weave intricate stories and scenarios for them. I imagined rich dreams of fairy tale lives full of Olympic gold, names in bright lights, and exotic travels around the world. 

I do dream about my kids, but in a different way than I expected. Often I am trying to protect them, tornadoes are common and there is the odd running from the kidnapper situations as well. I also dream of another little girl, but that's another story for another day. 

A new reoccurring dream is one of the best dreams I have ever had. It's a dream that has deep colors and is sharp in clarity. It's a dream that gives me such emotion and happiness, that I can feel myself smiling in my sleep. It's a dream where I can hear my own laughter and sense the glee in my voice. Each time I have this dream, I raise my hands and think to myself, "Finally, it has happened!" It's the dream where Johnny stands up and walks. 



It's not that I covet the day he will walk, I know it will happen at some point and I am so pleased with his overall progress. I do, however, anticipate that day. I look forward to it and imagine how different he will look upright instead of scootching on the ground. I think about how happy we will all be to see his hard work pay off and I cannot wait to see the smile on his face as he toddles towards his desired destination for the first time. It's a fantastic dream. As soon as I wake up and realize it hasn't happened yet, I take time to revel in that space, where a dream lingers into reality. I know, without a doubt, that even this best dream cannot measure up to how extraordinarily special that day will be. 

As I poured over these thoughts this morning after waking from a "Johnny Walked!" dream, I wondered if my anticipation mirrored God's anticipation when He waits for us to walk with Him. I wondered if He sits, watching us struggle, seeing our progress, all the while looking forward to that day that He knows we will follow His footsteps. He loves each of His children even more than I love my son, and Johnny's physical footsteps are of little importance when compared to the spiritual footsteps God wishes us to take. And if God knows each day of our lives, which I believe He does, does He look forward to our journey turning to Him, just as I dream about my son's paths and how they will be travelled?

The anticipation is a nice place to be. Especially if I am in good company with Him while He waits as well.